Saturday, September 11, 2010

Circle One

"Everything works in circles. Like sometimes you're doing something, and, a year later you're back at the same point... You understand me? So circle one is what we're doin right now. Someday we'll probably do circle two."
- Shane West as Darby Crash in the film "What We Do is Secret"

He was onto something here. I've been on circle one (or i guess circle two) for the past 13 years of my life. When I was a child, I never went to pre-school. I hung out with my lola (tagalog for grandma) at the house. My mom and dad would go to work. My bro would go to school. I would chill with Lola until everyone came back. We'd eat dinner as a family and all the good stuff. That was circle one. I turned five in June and September I went to kindergarten (start of circle two). I wake up, go to school, go home, homework, dinner, repeat (until summer of course). But this cycle, circle two, repeats for years. June 24th, 2010 comes along. I graduate high school. "WE'RE OUTTA HERE!" I proudly spray painted on my SEN10RS t-shirt we were givin at prom. I even cut the sleeves off (even though I have no muscle to show). I thought of graduating high school as an exit. I thought that my high school graduation would bring me out of circle two and into circle three. I mean, I should be onto bigger and better things now right? I don't know man. I still feel the same.

September 1st 2010 I attended my first day of college. I walked out of my first class thinking, this is it? This is the gnarly life I was waiting for? Half way through high school, my junior year, I realized, "Man, I don't wanna get outta high school. This is the easy life!" as I half-assed my way to C's and B's. "71... THAT'S NOT A D! I'M NOT GROUNDED!" I thought of college as hard work and no fun. But everyone else said the opposite. "College is gonna be fun!" "You should be lookin forward to college!" It's nothing out of the ordinary. I have more fun walkin around Newark (I go to Rutgers Newark). I guess since I'm not a party person, that "fun" doesn't apply to me. All I've done since school started is listen to Lagwagon and read Scott Pilgrim.

There was a point to why I quoted the movie. All my peers who graduated seem to be doing good. They're all stoked about college. They're all having fun. They're ready to move on, which they did. I kinda feel all my friends who graduated has moved onto a new circle. But I'm stuck on circle two. My oldest friend dorms. A lot of my friends are dorming. My best friend speaks of moving to Canada or going away for college if she got the chance. And I'm truly happy for all of them. I wish them the best of luck. I mean I'm still gonna see them, just not as much as I'd like to. Right?

As for me, my attempts to "move on" myself, I feel, are not workin so well. I'm still on circle two. But I have an iTouch full of music and Scott Pilgrim volumes 1 -4 (they cost money man and I'm not made of money. Luckily the guys at Fortress of Solitude the comic shop I go to in Newark are friggin gnarly and give me discount). I got my guitar, bass, a crap load of ideas and inspiration, and a motivation to make finally make a demo.

I need to stop sound like I'm whining all the time. Peace bra-dahs.